"I was no Samson"

The narrator's experience in the factory hospital is undoubtedly a pivotal point for him. We discussed in class how we could view this experience as a sort of rebirth for the narrator and while I agree with this approach to an extent, I see it more as yet another stage in the narrator's gradual disillusionment. He undergoes further realization of his circumstances in relation to himself in a heavy, sudden, and uniquely tangible dose as many of his many inner and outer conflicts manifest themselves in physical form. So far, in the most notable moments of disillusionment for the narrator, we have seen small shifts in his character. After being expelled by Bledsoe, we see the narrator still undeterred in his purpose but beginning to question the roots and meaning behind seemingly insignificant ideas such as those presented in song lyrics. After his encounter with Emerson, we see him taking this questioning of why things are and start to direct anger outwards, beginning to hold people accountable as he does when Brockway threatens to kill him and he reflects angrily on his past easy humility towards authority figures (although Brockway does stand out in that the narrator's initial respect for him was pretty low). Having emerged from the hospital we see him laughing at circumstances, saying "I am what I am!" and then wondering anxiously who exactly that is. Thus, the narrator's experience in the factory hospital has begun to set him on a path to self-discovery.

Ellison's portrayal of the narrator's experience is heavy with symbolism. He is confined to a glass box, studied like a specimen. Most notably, the machine seems to represent the societal system and people limiting the narrator.  The narrator describes how he was "pounded between crushing electrical pressures; pumped between live electrodes like a accordion between player's hands" as if he is finally feeling fully the control others have over him. Society gives him no freedom or room to do different then what please them without being accused and shut down. Coming into consciousness the narrator says, "I don't have enough room," to which a doctor responds "Oh that's a necessary part of the treatment" -- although we never really know what exactly the treatment is for, the doctors talk of  "criminals transformed into amiable fellows," thus we see people trying to literally control who he is.

There are other examples but the most important issue that is raised from the literal aspects of his experience is the narrator's inner questioning of his identity when he cannot remember his name. He panics, thinking, "Who am I? It was no good. I felt like a clown." In all his physical struggle against the machine for room, he comes to a strange deduction, thinking, "Whoever else I was, I was no Samson. I had no desire to destroy myself even if it destroyed the machine. I wanted freedom not destruction...there was one constant flaw, myself." In this moment, the narrator "realizes" that just as he cannot get out of the machine without getting hurt, with all his plans, and blueprints, in his life, his character has prevented himself from achieving what he truly desires. He thinks, "I could no more escape than I could think of my identity. Perhaps, I thought, the two things are involved with each other. When I discover who I am, I'll be free." In this moment, we finally see the concept of the freedom of the mind and self beyond physical freedoms that his grandfather seemed to have and that the narrator was so frustratingly ignorant of when we followed his thought process in the Battle Royale. Upholding the narrator's tentative conclusion is Bigger's "freedom" at the end of Native Son which was derived from Bigger's belief that he finally knew who he was.

A Blueprint to Life

As I have just finished Chapter 9 of Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison, it seems clear that the narrator is just beginning to undergo a shift in his character in his disillusionment so I would like to explore his character up until this point. One of the most significant qualities of the narrator thus far is his sincere belief in the simplicity of living. I don't mean to say that he is under the impression that he is living in comfortable, privileged circumstances or that there are few obstacles, people, and struggles in his path to success because it is evident that he is quite aware of his lowered "humble"position in society in relation to white people. However, he believes that navigating and rising above his circumstances can be done simply enough through sticking to certain guidelines --genuinely living and acting in the way that most pleases those above him -- ultimately, "doing the right thing", and somehow obtaining a reward that will be fulfilling. How can following these principles and doing no wrong not lead him to a life that is meaningful in its purpose and direction? In examining this initial attitude, we see that the narrator doesn't simply differ from Bigger's mindset at the start of Native Son because he is more at peace with the necessity of pleasing white people but essentially because he fully believes in the probability of finding his purpose in life and therefore is not tortured with Bigger's sense of meaninglessness. While it is true that the mindset of Bigger's family differs from the narrator in that Bigger's mother's sense of "meaning" in life was the purpose of survival mixed in with the greater meaning of God, the straightforwardness of religion, and the narrator's sense of meaning is derived from his belief in the concept of Dr. Bledsoe and the Founder, the mindsets are comparable in their false sense of purpose/ fulfillment (Please note that I am by no means attempting to invalidate religion). Of course it should be taken into account, that sometimes one just can't afford to speculate much upon the worth of their life because trying to merely survive is so predominant on the mind, as with the case of some of Bigger's friends but nevertheless while he cannot articulate the exact feeling, Bigger does.

In Native Son, Bigger notes the "blindness" of those surrounding him. His mother, sister, Bessie, Jan and Mary all seemingly so sure that the way they are living is only way to live or that it is undoubtedly the right way. Here, the narrator is the one being called blind by more people than he cares for -- the vet in Golden Day, who tells him he doesn't realize his invisibility, Dr. Bledsoe, who tells him he is nothing in reality, and Mr. Emerson, who tells him there is more going on, that life isn't that simple, to which he responds, "But I'm not bothered about all the other things, whatever they are, sir. They're not for me to interfere with and I'll be satisfied to go back to college and remain there as long as they allow me to." From the moment he was haunted by his grandfather's last words, the narrator never wanted to be, feared the necessity and possibility of being part of a grander scheme. He just wants to live the straightforward path the noble journey of the Founder and Dr. Bledsoe has supposedly made possible for him, the journey that so moved him, with its straightforward messages and heroics retold by Reverend Homer A. Barbee who symbolically, is literally blind.
This false sense of purpose manifests itself repeatedly as the narrator wakes up every so often in Harlem with renewed optimism. However, we begin to see the narrator start to change, even before his encounter with Mr. Emerson. When he bumps into the man pushing a cart of blueprints, he is initially annoyed but begins to enjoy his company. When the man says, "...Folks is always making plans and changing'em," the narrator responds, "...but that's a mistake. You have to stick to the plan." Nevertheless, the narrator leaves the encounter not moved with a concrete feeling, like the utter admiration and adoration he felt after hearing Barbee speak but with a new sort of speculation, though seemingly insignificant. He questions the meaning of the song the man is singing describing a woman that surely cannot be attractive, a song he has heard all his life. Similarly, after meeting with Emerson, he begins to ponder another song he hears, putting himself in the position of the protagonist Robin in the song, and finally thinking, "What was the who-what-when-why-where of poor old Robin? What had he done and who had tied him and why had they plucked him and why had we sung his fate?" In this moment we see the narrator begin to articulate feelings similar to Bigger's and realize that he cannot escape the weight of the grander scheme. 

This moment is also significant in that in his disillusionment and forced to give up on his sense of purpose and possibility of living up to his own high expectations of himself, the narrator is freed in a way similar to how Bigger feels freed after killing Mary, giving up on the predestined path he constantly couldn't tolerate. It is evident that as the narrator begins to contemplate killing Dr. Bledsoe because he feels he "owes it to himself" he is starting to think more about his true individual desires as well in contrast to his confusion to Emerson's "Do you wish to do what's best for yourself?" Notably, the young Emerson himself says to the narrator: "You have been freed, don't you understand?"